A long long time ago, there once lived a girl named Susanna.
Susanna went by the name of “Susie” in the tiny town that she grew up in.
Susie had long, beautiful brown hair and piercing blue eyes.
All of the boys in the town were secretly jealous of her husband, who happened to be the king
of the tiny town.
Susie was very gentle and loved to surround herself in
nature. Everyday, she would take a walk through her secret garden and sing with
the birds. Susie loved to plant wild flowers and swim with the pond fish.
One day, Susie decided to wake up early to watch the
sunrise. She walked out of her castle and found a beautiful, stone path in her
secret garden. While Susie was waiting for the beautiful colors of red and
orange to light the sky, she heard a strange noise in the near distance.
Thinking it could have been an injured animal; she got up
and went searching for the strange noise.
Suddenly, two BIG wolves jumped on the path in front of her
and started chasing after her. In order to save herself, Susie tried to run
away as fast as she could. The wolves were getting closer and closer and Susie
was running out of time to escape!
Out of nowhere, a man with an arrow swung from a branch and
shot both of the wolves with only one arrow!
Susie ran to the man and gave him a huge hug! She asked who
he was and he told her that he was a good friend of the king.
Susie and her hero went back to the castle to tell the king
what had happened. After their return, the king granted his friend with a crown
and let him live in his castle.
The whole town woke up and heard the news of what had happened.
To celebrate his friends victory over the wolves, the king
decided to through a huge party.
Later that evening, the entire town came to the castle and
celebrated together. The castle was
decorated with huge balloons and colorful lights. The party had every type of
food and dessert that you could imagine. The whole town joined together to
celebrate the king's friend and Susie’s life.
Ever since that day, the King holds a party every year to
remember the day his friend saved his wife.
The King reminds his town to always put others before themselves
and to always help a friend in a time of trouble.
Author's Note:
My story was based off the story of "Susanna" in the Bible. The original story is about the Kings wife (Susanna) who was bathing in her garden. One day, two elders forced Susanna to lay with them. Later in the story, the two elders tried to put the blame on Susanna and make her look guilty in front of the whole town. Before Susanna was put to death, a man named Daniel stood up for her and explained that the men were the ones at fault. The two men were eventually put to death and the Lord found favor in both Daniel and Susanna. The story was about saving "an innocent life."
After reading this story, I was inspired to create my own version of Susanna’s story for children. I wanted my story to be read in a "bedtime story" point of view. I want children to be able to understand this story in an appropriate manner and learn to always do the right thing, even when it seems hard.
I decided to make Susanna’s story more relatable to kids by using wolves as the two elders. I wanted children to understand that these two elders were not good people and that they were out to get Susanna. I decided to not give the hero a name because I wanted the story to focus on “doing the right thing no matter who is watching.” By not giving the hero a name, it can show children that they do not need to boast about doing good acts. Overall, I wanted my story to focus on the heart and to show children a beautiful story in an easy, yet entertaining way.
Bibliography: The King James Bible Online, Daniel Chapter 13
Hey Matty! I loved your story! I like that you took a traditional story and changed it into something kids could understand and enjoy. I liked the pictures you used and thought that they were places in good places to break up the story. Pictures are the best party of children’s stories anyways! I like that your story had a positive message to go along with it, and that it was a happy story!
ReplyDeleteWow... What a great story, it was very interesting throughout the whole story! You did a great job telling the story in a way that children would be able to understand it. The pictures were placed in perfect positions to give a good visual descriptions of what was going on. I will be anticipating reading all of your stories throughout the semester.
ReplyDeletewoooooow I think you are a great story teller and I can only imagine how beautiful Susie's garden must be. I think this would serve as a great bedtime story for children. Maybe you should keep it for when for future use? The man who shot the wolf must have been really good with a bow and arrow to kill the wolves in one shot. It would have been cool to see that happen. I also really liked moral of the story and I had no idea it was inspired by that story in the bible. I think one of the best parts about reading peoples stories is hearing where they got their inspiration from. During the story when the man saved Susie for a brief moment I thought that she was about to fall in love with he hero. I am glad it didn't turn out to be predictable like that and that the hero did saved her without hoping for anything in return. I think it would have been awesome to be at that party and I can only imagine how much fun everyone had being with each other.
ReplyDeleteWow! I really think you have a talent for writing stories! I really like your style of writing. It is simple, but very descriptive at the same time. I really liked how you made an inappropriate story but made it a children's story. That was a really cool idea! I also liked how you made the detail of the king throwing a party for the guy who saved his wife's life!
ReplyDeleteThe friend must be a very good archer to get 2 wolves with one arrow! Susie must also be an athlete to be able to outrun two huge wolves! Your story was very interesting, even though it was short. I almost thought that the friend would turn out to be Susie's long lost brother or something along those lines when the character appeared. The lesson at the end of the story was definitely a nice tough, along with the party thrown every year to honor the king's friend saving his wife. The party at the end of the story sounds awesome, and it was nice of the king to throw a party for the whole town, not just his family and the nobles in his court. Now that I think of it, it is also nice that you didn't make Susie suddenly fall in love with the friend or something like that.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your version of the story. I had no idea that it was based off of a Biblical story. You do a great job describing the scene and I was able to picture everything in my mind. I was surprised she was able to outrun two wolves. I did wonder why she didn't know who that man was if he was a good friend of the king, her husband. If he was a good friend, you would think that she would have met him before. The story is simple and easy enough for children to understand. I did notice a small typo in the story. You wrote "the king decided to through a huge party" and it should be throw not through. It is a minor thing, but it caught my attention. Overall excellent job on the story and I look forward to reading more from you this semester.
ReplyDelete